Thank you Christian Bookstores!

n the United States we have more access to Bibles then any other country in the world. Take a trip to your local Lifeway and you will see aisles and aisles of every possible bible you could ever imagine.

For those little girls who think they deserve to be treated like Royalty there is the God's Princess Bible, because she is a daughter of the King. This Bible comes complete with bedazzled jewels and has a pretty pink leather cover and strap. Because your child deserves to be treated as Royalty. She is after all. perfect in every way and deserving of the prestige and honor that comes only to Jesus Christ.

Then there is the Refuel Bible, this Bible is amazing because it looks nothing like a Bible. Instead it looks like a gossip filled youth teen magazine! YEA! Included on the cover is an awesome photo of a guitar with words like MUSIC and GIRLS:SPILL IT ALL!!!! The best part about this biblezine is that it is perfect for all of those Christian teenagers in North Korea. It hides the fact that it is an actual Bible, this way when a Korean guard comes up to them with a 45mm in their face demanding them to display what they are reading, they can do it with no fear of being shot. Incredible!

I could go on and on with all these hip, relevant Bibles, but there a problem. In America we update our Bibles more then peer reviewed journals and all those irrelevant Bibles laying around can destroy the atmosphere, that's why the folks at HarperOne have created The Green Bible made of recycled materials so you can not feel guilty when you decide Global Warming was a hoax and this bible needs to be tossed away. Why send used bibles to places where they really need it?

So thank you Christian bookstores all over America for helping us feed our consumerist appetites with every possible want and need. You really understand the importance of the word being relevant to ALL men and to that I salute you.

Sola Scriptura, and to the Persecuted Christians all over the world who are starving for a single page of any bible, I apologize. for the downright ridiculous behavior of us Americans., who buy into this filth.

Marcus