A Letter to ABC Family.

Dear ABC Family,
Last night I was blessed enough to be able to sit through an entire hour of your new show called "The Secret Life of an American Teenager". It truly is an amazing piece of fiction, one in which your entire crew, including the substandard writers and perfectly stereotyped cast should be extremely proud of!

But really I want to congratulate your staff for the tremendous job of the comedic and accurate portraying of a Christian teenager as a stereotypical bubbly cheerleader who prides herself on her promise ring that her parents bought her. This character has so much depth I don't know where to being this bubbly rebuke!!!

I know! Let's start with the testosterone induced, sex craved jock (who is obviously a false convert) boyfriend of the Christian cheerleader. You nailed it with this one. Every American Christian guy begs his girlfriend for sex! But I honestly felt bad for this guy, I mean look at the church he goes to, a church with a gym that allows for sensual dancing to secular music, intimate conversations all about sex, and no youth pastors in sight. No wonder this poor false convert can think of nothing else! It's a perfect portrayal of the modern American church! You need an Emmy.

I also loved how the male Christian character who again is obviously a false convert (I hope that doesn't spoil any thing in the future episodes, it seems kind of obvious) has no self control ( A fruit of the spirit, thus what told me he was a false convert). Not only that, what really nailed the American Christian teenager role was the fact that he has no idea about scripture! That's perfect! The way he obviously had no idea of Isaiah 59:1 when he begged that promiscuous teenage girl to pray for forgiveness as he screamed ignorantly about God's love.

Ill quote it for you here, but I am sure you knew of this when you wrote it (That's why it's so brillant!)

..But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear.

It's to a tee. I mean does he know that God will not answer the prayers of the unsaved. No of Course not, he is an American Christian teenager and you knew that! Amazing!!!

So thank you ABC Family! I have set up my Tivo with a season pass as I look forward to your overly angry and aggressive stereotypical portrayal of the Muslim teenagers in future episodes!

Sincerely,
Marcus Pittman, a youth minister.

PS I apologize for the over exaggerated use of exclamation points, I am just so bubbly!!!!!